The Answer Is Never

Thank you Marneymae for reblogging. A powerful read and well worth sharing. At 11 I announced that I never wanted to get married. Presumably because I thought it was a stepping stone to motherhood. My friends thought I was odd. As I enter my late forties, I know that my decision not to have children has been right for me. I wince inwardly when people refer to my lack of maternal instinct. I can mother a child, cat or another adult without wanting a child. I am not lacking.

Longreads

Sabine Heinlein | Longreads | April 2015 | 16 minutes (3,886 words)

One time, when I was in my early twenties, I shared a hospital room with a mother of many. I had a skin infection that wouldn’t respond to oral medication, and the 50-something-year-old woman had severe, inexplicable hives. Our main topic of conversation revolved around neither of our ailments. It was about my not wanting to have children. She was insistent, which seemed ironic considering her hives flared up whenever her family visited her on Sundays. I eventually compromised with the woman. Okay, I said, I will put off my decision until I reach my thirties. “You are starry-eyed,” she huffed. “You young women want it all. But you can’t have it all!” Maybe, I thought, some of us don’t want it all.

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